Money doesn’t buy happiness, so why do we treat it like it does?
We’ve all done it. We buy something we think will make us happy. Sometimes it brings us a measure of happiness or satisfaction. Other times, the feeling we think we’re going to get falls flat, almost as soon as we bring the item home.
As humans, we have a complicated relationship with money. We need it to survive. And we can become unhappy if we don’t have enough of it to pay our bills. But it becomes a crutch when we use it to fill an emotional need or fix a problem.
Finances are the number one cause of stress for Americans, with 77 percent of American households dealing with some form of debt.1 With the average American being more than $104,000 in debt, managing mortgage loans, home equity lines of credit, auto loans, credit card debt and student loans.2 It's no wonder that money is a major stress factor.
To help us better understand money disorders, we must pull back the curtain on them — and take a close look at what causes them and how to go about fixing them.
Common types of money disorders
Money disorders refer to unhealthy financial behaviors that are brought on by stress, impacting the health and well-being of individuals and families.
The three big disorders include:
- Money avoidance issues. People who are in financial denial avoid thinking and talking about money issues. Some might reject thinking about money because they believe it’s inherently bad. Others are excessively worried about risk, so they don’t trust anyone else with their money. Some might believe that money is an extravagance and they shouldn’t spend it on themselves.3
- Relational money disorders. Relationships with others are at the core of this disorder. Financial infidelity involves trying to hide your spending from someone else, like a partner, because you feel ashamed. Financial enabling is when you don’t hold others financially responsible because you fear their rejection. Financial dependence is when one person relies on someone else to take care of their money problems.3
- Money worshipping disorders. It can become a problem when someone equates spending money with a sense of happiness and a way to solve their problems. For example, oftentimes, a person with a compulsive buying disorder has an emotional hole they are trying to fill. Money worshippers might be a compulsive hoarder, a workaholic (or someone who stays busy all the time), an unreasonable risk taker, or compulsive buyer or overspender.3
The effects of money disorders
Money disorders can lead to financial strain that affects a person’s family and their day-to-day life and well-being. These disorders can wreak havoc on a person’s mental and emotional health, possibly resulting in other unhealthy habits.
The treatment of money disorders
The good news is that money disorders are treatable — and roadblocks can be removed.
A relatively new field, financial therapy (or counseling), provides support and advice geared specifically toward the financial realm and the stresses that go along with it. While financial therapy may focus on aspects of financial literacy, it also addresses an individual’s underlying emotional and psychological relationship with money.4
Simply thinking about why you feel and behave the way you do when it comes to money can be eye-opening — and lead to better decision-making and fewer impulse buys.
As with any relationship, it takes effort and commitment to achieve a healthy relationship with money. Be open to discussing your situation with your partner or a professional and set financial goals.
Just remember that money doesn’t buy happiness. But how you think about money can.
